The True Legacy of Steve Jobs

These are things that rarely happened before the dawn of iPhone.


The first happens daily in my hip, youthful building.


Waiting for the elevator, the door opens. I wait a moment for the young woman in the elevator to exit. She stands, looking at her phone, and I start to enter. She glances up and, looking startled (the poor dear), she bangs into me on her mad dash out, saying, "Oops!" I guess oops is the new, hip version of "I'm sorry, I know I'm a fucking idiot."


[Unrelated to the iPhone phenomena, the parents of the current generation of 20- and 30-somethings dropped the ball when it comes to teaching basic elevator etiquette in the first place. The few other old guys in the building, having been taught the mystical secrets of the elevator as children, will wait and see if anybody is exiting the elevator before getting in, just like me. But if I'm in the elevator, about to get out, and the door opens, the young'uns waiting to get in are right at the door, and then I have to push past them. Every day. (I don't smile at them anymore.) This is also exactly the way Ben does it, and he actually pushes his face into the elevator door while waiting. But he has an excuse. He's severely autistic. Their excuse is, they're simply assholes.]


And here is something that has happened twice this day alone, inspiring me to whine, I mean, wax eloquently.


I'm at an intersection waiting for the light to change. But first, the left turners are given an arrow. I notice that the car in the left turn lane is not moving. Anyone who gets behind the wheel these days knows this is nothing unusual since The Dawn Of iPhone.


When I'm behind that particular type of moron, the moron hears my horn.


But I notice that the car behind him is not beeping. The seconds tick by. No "beep." The arrow comes and goes.


Saint-like patience?


Hell no. Turns out, she was staring at her phone, too.


When I got the green, I simply drove.


I'm so old fashioned.

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